Royal Order of the Fork

Royal Order of the Fork^©

The Royal Order of the Fork is dedicated to those who enjoy the pleasures of the fork. Our philosophy is that "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"

Membership qualifications include some or all of the following;

Have a waist size at least 130% of pants length.
Have a cholesterol reading of at least 275 before medication.
Have a minimum of two sets of different sized clothing.
Have lied to spouse about amount of food/beverages consumed.
Have onvinced the ROOF Membership Committee of eating prowess.

Levels of membership are as follows:

New Forkers - apprentice level; basic forking skills; requires training and practice;
More Forker or Mo' Forker - requires 3 years of forking experience or an angiogram, which ever comes first;
Master Forker - requires 8 years of forking experience or having an angioplasty or by-pass operation; and lastly the most exalted level
Ole Forker - requires that the person is alive and has achieved 10 years of forking experience.

Roof Eating Tool The special Forker eating utensil pictured has been adopted as the official eating utensil of ROOF and signifies Forker status. As illustrated , the sacred eating instruments has the capability to telescope from its retraced 8 inch length to 24 and one half inches. The purpose is to permit access to those hard to reach place such as the food plate across the table etc.

In order to assist prospective and current members in achieving the life long goals of eating to win; click ROOF HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION for the latest in health news and tips.

Click Byron Burkhardt to view the induction of the newest member of ROOF!

Membership is by invitation only. Currently membership stands at 11 and is expected to increase in 2005.

*- - - - Current Members of the Royal Order of the Fork - - - -*
Joe Abrams	Rusty Burns	Skip Booth	Byron Burkhardt	Leo Cailleteau	Brooke Cailleteau
Joe Corizzo	Ann Moores	Bob Owens	Cliff Sivard	Bob Warren	Warren Wood

Royal Order of the Fork©

Last Updated March 14, 2005

Royal Order of the Fork^©